I'm Hungry

I'm having a really rough weekend. I'm no so much hungry in my stomach. I have that empty feeling with the occasional growl, but my psyche is off. I know my body needs fuel. I don't know if it's the hcg that is bad or not. I've had it since my first day on the diet, that's only been 11 days. I took an extra shot of it this morning.

When I went to the doctor I got a new vial that I have not used yet, but it is twice the strength of what they gave me the first time. I got 2500 IU the first time and 5000 IU this time. So I figured doubling my dose wasn't going to hurt anything. It's not working.

Today is Sunday and I'm in the house so that has something to do with it. I need to clean and do laundry but I'm so irritated every time I start picking up and doing dishes within 15 minutes I'm so pissed off I have to take a breather. After about ten minutes of laying down I get some ambition to start my chores again and just repeat the cycle. I've been out of bed for 4 hours. I had 2 cups of coffee, 32 oz of water, my half grapefruit and now I'm having lunch. I never have lunch this early. I know by the end of the day I'm going to be going crazy. I don't know if this has something to do with my period, or the diarrhea, hcg or the fact that I'm home. Also my dog peed on my blankets in the family room, the laundry I have in the hall and my sons stuffed dog. I'm about to put him outside for the duration of his life. He is fixed, goes out 20 or more times a day and still feels the need to mark his territory. This behavior of his always puts me in a furious rage and it is not helping right now that I'm trying to get through this diet.

Oddly enough right now I'm sitting here blogging and my fury is calmed. I've got my lunch sitting right here in front of me, 3 oz of chicken, 2 cups of cucumber in 2/3 cup of apple cider vinegar, a little mustard for dipping my chicken in and a 32 oz mug of water. I've only had a few bites. I put Randy Travis in the cd player and I'm calming down.

I want to make a nice dinner for the boys and 'D', I'm going to do Delmonico Steaks, baked potato, raw broccoli with ranch and cupcakes. I thought about doing brownies, but I like brownies and can handle cupcakes much better. On second thought I might do scalloped potatoes. As long as I have everything I have here to make it. I do need to run to my office later so maybe I'll pick up some things at the grocery if needed.

Now I'm sitting here only halfway through my lunch and I seriously don't want to finish it. I'm growing tired of the same stuff. Like I said in my last post the shrimp last night was gross. I know I have to finish eating this because it's going to be 7 hours before I eat my dinner. I do have my second fruit I can have in between. I've got a large apple I'll be having.

Let me tell you I am planning out the first day I am off this VLCD. I will be on no-carb for three weeks, but that sounds completely like heaven right now. For breakfast I'm going to have scrambled eggs, sausage and a slice of bacon. Lunch WAS going to be roasted chicken and blue cheese stuffed olives, but the chicken isn't looking so great right now. Dinner is going to be a nice steak a salad with full fat ranch dressing. 'D' and I are going to go to dinner at Backwoods Grille and have some wine too. So that is something I am totally looking forward to.

This morning  in my total and complete frustration I was trying to focus on the weight I was losing and the possibility of how much I will lose by the end of this torture. Yes, it is torture! I have to say that. I have talked to people at the doctors who've done and are doing this diet and they say "no, it's not hard" Well, either they are complete fawking liars or they don't want to seem weak. This diet is hard! Not really the first week, I got over that milestone pretty unscathed. But, yesterday and today are really tough. Anyway, the weight I expect to lose if I keep up at my current pace, which seems to be .75 lbs a day on the average. So, I should lose 26 more lbs for a weight of 141, with the shape I have that will be about a size 4-6 depending on what store and brand I buy. Right now at 165 I can wear an 8-10. I'm a D cup and have hips and a butt so I carry weight in all the places a woman wants to carry her weight in; which I thank my mother for. All of my sisters got pretty lucky that way. THANKS MOM!!! XOXOX

I'm tired of the food choices. I'm getting irritable to the 10th degree. One is the stevia, I keep getting diarrhea, I have so many intolerance's it seems everything bothers me. I am just really being able to weed through what causes my stomach pain. I already knew sweet n low was a no go, but now I see diet soda, due to the artificial sweetener and carbonation, and any other sweetener does it. I haven't really been able to rule sugar out as I haven't had it in a while so after this diet I'm going to add a very small amount to my tea and see it I'm affected. I know the last time the stevia bothered me I felt irritable so maybe this is it. I hope so, I'm cutting it all out today and hopefully I'll be straightened out by morning. My stomach in the small intestines just keeps rolling, rumbling and squealing around.

Hanging in... and I'm out.